rinrin minmei
| Somethings in the news... 2006/10/06 23:50 |
| Last week...or maybe a few days ago. A NY t3@cher got arrested for....what was that...making a fem@le stud3nt do 0r@l s3x or something. He was caught, and on his comp they found a lot of ch1|d p0rn0gr@phy. -_-;; (But then I'm thinking if I get caught for something, and they see my comp with h@rdc0re y@01 stuff on it...then what're people gonna think about me? XDDD) And then either yesterday or this morning...this morning, I think, I heard on the news how a NJ h3@lth t3@ch3r is susp3nd3d with p@y for having s3x with her 13 yr old stud3nt. @_@;; And this l@dy is the mother of an infant. I don't think the baby's the stud3nt's. I'm only half listening to the radio when I'm driving, so I don't remember precisely what they say, but all I can think of is jeez, why all these t3@chers!? It's disgusting. -_-;; It's like having s3x with your own ch1ldren!! >x< |
| ._.;;; 2006/10/03 21:52 |
| I've only been teaching 2 weeks so far, and I've already took 2 of my sick days. -v-;;;;;;;;;;; Mommy, I dun wanna go to school no more!!! XPPP *sigh* And for some reason, when I'm slightly feverish, that's when the muse descends upon me, and I've been writing like 30 some pages of st@r 0ce@n y@01 f@nf1c the past 2 days when I should've been sleeping or doing paper work for sch00l... -v-;; |
| Something I meant to put in the last entry... 2006/09/30 09:32 |
| ..and forgot because the entry got longer than I planned... XDDD Y'know what? I think we all think that we look worse than we do. Ari, you look cute in the pics, so I bet you look great in rl. Pics make people look uglier than they are, imo. XP |
| @_@;;; 2006/09/29 23:41 |
| Gah. Down with a fever and a cold! (er...are they separate things? XD) I think the 2 weeks of salad lunch, driving for an average of 2+ hours a day, and just the te@ching in general have taken their tolls on me. XP My head hurts like crayz now... -v-;;; I mean I knew, I was feeling kinda low, but I hadn't realized that I was coming down with a cold. Anyway, I never thought te@ching was so complicated. @_@;;;;; I mean I knew intellectually that it was going to be hard, especially since compared to the average person, I have very little experience being around people and dealing with them, but trying to teach kids and deal with all the problems attached to them while working with sch00l st@ff!!! *_*;; Doesn't help that I'm in basically a wh1te c0mmunity which doesn't seem to have much understanding of d1vers1ty and consequently, caring for other people. I mean they do care, but the way they care is different from people who are in a d1verse c0mmunity. Even the people around my workplace has more awareness and sensitivity than the people in my sch00l, and those people ain't the nicest people in the world! I mean, they're going to label a kid as having m3nt@l d3ff1ciencies because he's been in the country for over 4 years and hasn't "le@rned much 3ng" yet. Hello? I bet if they grew in the kind of environment he did (basically not much 3duc@tion and probably very little wr1t1ng skills, since many L@t1n 4mer1can c0untries don't seem to provide the type of 3duc@tion that 3ur0pe@n influenced c0untries do), so anyway, with that kind of background, how's he going to catch up to over 10 years of sch00l w0rk in a l@ngu@ge completely new and different, not to mention that once he got here, he wasn't in the most ideal classes because the stupid pl@ce doesn't place 3SL stud3nts by their pr0ficiency levels, so a lot of times, the stud3nts were given "busy w0rk." Things meant to keep the stud3nts doing something, which doesn't really contribute to much le@rning. I had to fill out a "1nt3rvention s3rv1ce r3f3rr@l f0rm" for the kid because they think he's sp3ci@l 3d, that maybe he's got @ttent1on d3f1cit dis0rders and other things like that. The l@dy that gave me the form asked if I hadn't noticed the way he talks, getting kind of loud all of a sudden, sometimes making big gestures....and I'm thinking, lady, that's his cu|tur3 and his p3rs0nality, not m3nt@l pr0blems. -_-;; I seriously think that in this day and age, the way they're cl@ss1fying stud3nts left and right, I'd be cl@ss1fied and clapped up in chains if I let even a little of what I really think about the world! We're all a little or a lot weird. It's just that some of us have learned to hide it better than others! Jeez! I mean, yes, the kid has pr0blems, like he doesn't want to pay attention in cl@ss, doesn't do his h0meworks, copies his h0meworks from other kids...and the list could go on, but y'know, there're a lot of "n0rmal" kids like that, and they don't cl@ss1fy those kids, although maybe, they want to! @*&*@&$@#!!! >X<!!! ....it's just too much. XP And I had seriously better sleep or otherwise, I won't get better by M0nd@y. XP If only this stupid car out on the street would stop honking. Obviously, whoever they came to pick up or whatever ain't either here or sleeping! |
| 'Nother week of orientation... 2006/09/12 22:19 |
| ...and thank g0d for it. @_@;;;;;; Aiee.... Starting a completely new job is difficult, and teaching's darn difficult 'cause it's got all these paperwork, administrative stuff we have to know, gotta know school rules for teachers and students, and everything else before school starts. @_@;;;;;;;;;;; I'm supposed to have a mentor assigned to me because this is my first year teaching, but I haven't gotten one yet. Thank goodness I'm an additional 3SL teacher and not a replacement, so I have her to rely on instead of floundering blindly on my own. I think life really has a way of working out. I mean, despite the months of worrying that I won't get a job, I finally get one where just about everything's perfect but for the location. The f@culty and st@ff in the d1str1ct are really nice and relaxed...I was shocked that a lot of the people came to the orientation in their t-shirt and jeans. -v-;;; That didn't happen where I did my stud3nt t3@ching. @_@; The first day, I went in my black suit and was way over dressed. @_@;;; Now I'm in my regular b00kstore work clothes, and I feel perfectly at home. @_@; I mean, I can't dress like that when I start teaching, but still... And like I said before, I'm glad I'm hired as an additional 3SL t3@cher, so I can just follow along what the old t3@cher's doing and let her guide me. Thank goodness for that, especially since the darn school really does not separate the 3SL kids by their pr0ficiency levels. #_# I've only been in 3 NJ sch00l d1str1cts, true, but they've all divided their cl@sses by @bility. True, there're bound to be slight differences, but not something so disparate as having a completely new 3SL student in the same classroom as one who's been in the country for 3 years.... at least, not without testing those kids and finding out what level they're at. I wasn't trained to teach such a mess!!!! >x< I was so ready to call my prof, my superv1sor from stud3nt t3@ching........ but I've gone hiking with my mom today, vented on the subject, and cleared it from my system. Now I can think more clearly, and I'm starting to get some ideas on how to teach classes like that, but I still think it's a waste of time for both the t3@cher and the stud3nt to mix different level kids. So anyway, otherwise I'm just completely overwhelmed and swamped with trying to figure out routines and procedures for the sch00l, and since there're only 2 new teachers, they haven't really gone over them step by step, so I....er...really have no clue what I'm doing come next week. -v-;;;; I don't even know what I'm te@ching, or if I'm te@ching, since it sounds like I'm gonna be wasting my time doing paperwork with stud3nts for the first few days or so. I wouldn't consider it a waste of time if I didn't think that they could and should be done before school starts. I hate inefficiencies. XP Gad. I can't wait until I settle down into some kind of routine and go back to work at the b00kstore part-time. It's familiar work, and I get to work and talk with people I already know and am comfortable with. XP Meeting so many new faces and strangers is such a strain on my nerves. @_@ And it's so hard to tell when I should put myself forward and introduce myself to a te@cher or not, because some of them're approachable, while others just stare at me like I come from another planet or something. -_-;;; Come to think of it, maybe I do to them, since I saw only 1 other 4zn in the whole sch00l d1str1ct, and she's filipp1na so she looks a bit l@t1no, whereas I'm more of a stere0typical 4zn. ._.;; Or maybe I'm getting oversensitive. Bleh. It's just that I haven't been in such a wh1te c0mmunity since I graduated from h1gh sch00l. Back in M4, I was used to it and blinded myself to r@cism and everything, but ever since I got used to Rutg3rs and becoming mult1culturally aware, and having worked the past 3 years in a c0mmunity where about half of the population's 4zn, it's amazingly difficult to adjust back to an entirely wh1te c0mmunity, or rather, where all the people with power are wh1te. Apparently, student population is 40% h1sp@n1c. |
| A random entry of mother observation journal j/k 2006/09/11 02:03 |
| It's 2am right now, and I'm still up 'cause I don't have work tomorrow. This week's still teacher orientation, so attendance is required only tue, wed, and thu., thank goodness. So anyway, my mom's off tomorrow too. She's in the living room, and I'm thinking this is way past her bedtime, maybe she's fallen asleep watching tv. So I go take a look and there she is, watching and crying. I look at the tv screen, and the characters are crying too. She really gets into these krn dramas! XDDD |
| ._. 2006/09/06 23:03 |
| I feel so apprehensive that I actually feel physically sick... TxT Or maybe it's partly because I have my mense, but still.... I'm a very shy and insecure person darnit, and it's living hell adjusting to a new job environment. T_T Especially since it's a teaching job and teachers're one of the scariest people out there because they can act so friendly and you never know what goes on behind their smiles. Teachers are worse than the average person when it comes to being super friendly and thinking the complete opposite behind their smiles. So anyway, feeling really sick and ready to cry...they won't give us teachers the class lists, so I don't know what kind of classes I'm supposed to be planning for, or what textbooks I'm using, and what my courses are supposed to be like. I can't plan an outline for the year if all they're going to give me is like 3 days before classes start!!!! Hell. Most schools let you know over the summer, not 3 days before school starts! And if I understood correctly, they don't separate 3SL kids by their proficiency levels. That doesn't make sense. They now have two teachers and I forgot how many kids, and they still can't work out a schedule where the classes are separated by student proficiency? That's plain nonsense. Nobody can teach anything in a situation like that! 3SL isn't just about helping kids with their works from other classes!.... I hope I misunderstood what my supervisor told me today..... agh....stomachache......... TXT But in regards to people breaking up...it's sad, but I guess in a way, it's better that they find out before they marry rather than after. My roommate from college broke up with her bf who she'd been seeing for 3 years, and started dating another guy. Haven't seen her for 6 years or so, I think, but the other day she found me at my workplace, and lo and behold, she'd married the guy that she'd started dating when she was my roommate, and she looked happy. Things work out, even when they don't look it. ....That's what I keep on telling myself.............I hope I can sleep tonight. I didn't sleep well last night 'cause I had a stomachache....just like I have one now............... T_T Eesh....I didn't know I was this sensitive... ._. BTW, here's what my sch00l h0mew0rk p@ge's gonna look like. Still debating on the layout. Not much I can change, 'cause the whole top and bottom parts gotta stay that way. www.rpsd.org/homework/hwreturn.cfm?StaffName=kg0t0 Just change the 2 0's in the last part to regular letter "o"s. |
| I keep on disappearing.... 2006/09/05 19:18 |
| 'cause I didn't realize you guys still checked this blog. XDDD It felt like we moved all our activities over to mu|t1p|y or something. Anyway, I'm gonna be back here blogging maybe even daily, now that school's starting. XP Well sorta. Today was the 1st day of new teacher orientation meeting. Still got 2 more days to go, and 3 more days of regular teacher orientation. @_@;;;; Talk about extensive! XP And boring. -_-;;; Anyway, about wanting to be more attractive.... In a way, I don't think anybody can get away from that insecurity. Once you start looking at other people, there're always bound to be more attractive girls just as there're less attractive ones. (In my case, I'm far less attractive than I was a few years ago, which makes me depressed -v-;;) But anyway................er...dunno if you want me to say that no, I don't think it's irrational what you're feeling, or yes, you're being irrational. XDDD But I don't think it's irrational to feel that way about your bf and cousin. Not that I'm saying that there's going to be anything between them, but when you know that your bf's alone under the same roof with another girl, of course you're going to have worries. Heck, I don't think they should be alone together in the same apartment! I mean....isn't that common sense? Or at least, that's what I feel like. So no, I don't think what you're feeling is irrational, although I doubt that there's anything going on. As our loss prevention manager told us in a seminar, given the opportunity, 80% of the people will probably take advantage, while 10% definitely will and the rest of the 10% will definitely not. So what you want to do is avoid providing people with opportunities. This was in regards to theft, but it applies to anything else too. It applies to cheating on relationships, on tests, whatever. ...Am I making you more worried? ^^;;; Er....if I were in your situation, I'd probably tell the bf that I'm not comfortable with him alone with the cousin and ask him to be there only when I'm there. But that's me, so it's probably not something normal people would do. XP Or...if you cousin doesn't have a bf, then get her one. XDDD |
| Oh jeez. -_-;;; 2006/07/18 19:45 |
| I've been..............reinstalling the 0s for like.....dunno how many times in the past few days 'cause I kept on getting infected. Then I finally found out that it's one of my backup files that was corrupted and giving me all the headahces!!! >x< So hopefully, everything's cleaned up by now! >x< |
| Giving physical descriptions... 2006/07/16 17:13 |
| Just wondering. Do you guys ever notice that when people describe how somebody looks, they seem to omit the racial feature? At work, when I need to ask a coworker to help a customer that I'm sending to them, I usually say it's a white/4zn/whatever old/young guy/lady. I notice a lot of people say a guy/lady with xxx color t-sh1rt on or something like that. Never what the person looks like. I've one time missed meeting a customer because somebody said yellow, and the t-shirt that the customer was wearing was not yellow.... #_#;; And then I notice people getting nervous when I throw around words like white, bl@ck, d@rk skinned, light skinned, whatever. And they lecture you on how race is a thing that people made up and there's no such thing as race. Well, I could tell them that there's no such thing as money because it's a made up concept, but I doubt that anybody'd buy into that theory, so why bury your head in the sand and say that there's no race? Sure there's no such thing as race in biological terms, but it sure gives an easy way of describing people's physical looks instead of saying the person has black hair and eyes. You can describe the colors of the hair and eyes, but never the skin. How dumb and blind is that? People look different, that's a fact. Who cares if race is a constructed thing and doesn't exist? Different skin colors do exist, and that particular color is part of that person, so why deny anybody how they look? Jeez. That's denying a part of the person's identity. Sure, whittling down a person to his/her skin color is being blind in a different sense, since skin color doesn't make up the person's whole identity, but it's just as silly to exclude it from the person's identity. -_- |
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